I’m Not Dead, I’m Just in a Parallel Universe where Blogging Doesn’t Exist

Hey.

Apparently there’s a world out there still.

Don’t worry, I’m not quitting my blog because I’m burned out. I’m not even quitting. I’m just driving to and from the airport all the time (which means I’m going totally crazy in the car all the time), organizing lots of details to death, and plopping down on a squeaky bunk bed to watch the Bachelorette and eat goldfish all night long. I’m doing a lot of things, but I’m not writing blog posts. Except for this one, obviously.

I’m actually on a work trip. I’m organizing a training program in western New York for the next three weeks. Yes, that’s western New York. Like, Buffalo area—the beautiful-but-very-boring part of the state. Not New York City. 

Anyway, I do this every summer, and every time, I feel like I’ve entered a parallel universe. A parallel universe where the only thing in the world is this program. While I’m here, my life has never existed before or after. This is all that exists in the world, and my sole purpose in life is to organize all the tiny parts of this tiny world.

Occasionally I remember that I have a husband (just kidding—I almost always remember that). I never remember that I have a blog.

And then today, I was like, “Hey, wasn’t there some kind of thing on the internet that I was responsible for? No? Huh. Oh, wait. There is something. Some weird little place full of badly drawn pictures. I better find that thing and see if it’s still alive.” It’s like when I got a Tamagotchi pet when I was little and forgot about it for a month. That thing was super dead when I finally remembered it. Poor little guy.

So that’s what’s up.

I vaguely remember a life where I had time to write multiple blog posts every week. It’s like a dream. Is it real? I don’t know. But this new life is okay. I get to eat snacks in bed and watch whatever I want on Netflix, so that’s cool. 

But for real, I’m pretty sure that this program ends in the middle of July, so I’ll probably be back then with some more hilarious things to say, or at least more conversations with inanimate objects. See you then.

Aw, no picture? I know, I’m disappointed too. I kept sitting here hoping one would just materialize in front of me because I don’t have time to draw a whole picture, but I don’t think that’s going to happen. I did draw half a picture, though, so here you go. 

I think it was going to be something about how the rest of New York is not the same as New York City. I know that’s not funny, but just pretend. They say if you fake-laugh for long enough, you’ll start to laugh for real. Try that now. It would have been funny if I had finished it, I swear.

Also, I don’t know why there’s a dinosaur picking his nose. Normally I take that stuff out of my final pictures.

Case in point: I wrote this post three days ago, and then forgot about my blog again. I just remembered that I should post this. Whoops.