So, I’ve been pretty sick lately. Not that there could have been any doubt (there’s plenty of evidence), but just in case anyone needs to test in the future whether I’m actually sick or not, here’s some ways to tell:
1. If I suddenly have no interest whatsoever in the internet, I’m probably sick. When I’m sick, I’m perfectly content to watch Friends and sleep instead of worrying about Facebook and email and all the blogs I’m not reading. (Speaking of which, after two days of no internet, I have approximately 110 unread blog posts to get through. Maybe I should cut back. That’s a little out of control.)
2. If cute things don’t make me laugh hysterically, I’m definitely sick. Pictures of puppies and babies can’t even cheer me up. That’s a seriously bad sign.
3. If I can’t think of anything funny or imaginative to write, I’m extremely sick. This post is evidence of that. I have nothing funny or imaginative to say about anything. But read the rest of this post, because there’s a picture at the end, and it would be sad if you stopped now.
However, one thing seems to be enhanced by my being too sick to move. Since my imagination can’t operate while I’m awake and miserable, it goes crazy at night. My dreams are so much more fun than normal.
Like last night, when I dreamt up this elaborate video game where I was a gumdrop riding a bee through a magical land of candy and mindgames. First, you had to create your bee using math (which was fun somehow), and then you had to speed through this castle set in the middle of the SugarOtter Forest (which was apparently home to otters made of sugar, or otters that ate sugar, or something), and there were all these puzzles and games for your bee to solve near the end. I don’t know how you won.
Also, there was something about a dinosaur orphanage, but I’m not sure how that fits in. It sounds like a pretty good idea for a movie, though.
Anyway, I drew you a picture of my dream, since that’s the only remotely interesting thing going on around here right now. Other than this, it’s mostly Sprite, sleeping, and watching weird shows on TV.
Have a nice day.